Communication is Key

Happy Thursday fellow LDR pals! Today’s post is a great extension off of yesterday’s post. If you did not get a chance to read it, you can catch up here. I have said it previously but communication is key. To any kind of relationship: boyfriend/girlfriend, mother/child, siblings, married couples and no matter if there is or is not any distance between the two of you. Since the beginning of our relationship, even before there was 1780 miles between Jack and I, I have always struggled with communication. For some reason I hate discussing feelings or why I’m mad/sad to Jack. This applied to all relationships in my life; I am not much of an “emotions” type of person.

I did not begin to see how important communicating was in a relationship until I began dating Jack, and it really hit home for me once we began long distance. When you are face to face you can tell when your partner is mad by certain things they do. Maybe they give you the cold shoulder or make a face when they are mad. From there you instantly know they are mad or sad and try to find out why. In long distance it is even harder to distinguish when your partner is mad, angry, frustrated, or upset because through text and phone calls it is hard to pick up on these signals, especially when your partner is not expressing it to you. I am sure I have certain actions when I am mad or sad, just ask Jack I bet he knows them all by now. I know I tend to be much more quiet and shorter in my responses when I am upset and snarkier when I am angry but even then I can be very good at hiding it.

But if you do not communicate how is it helping your relationship? It only hurts you, your partner and your relationship. When I would not express to Jack that I was upset for whatever reason, I would keep it in and only begin to get more upset or treat him wrongly. Once he picked up on the fact that something was wrong he would have to chip away at me to finally find out what was the problem. After a million “nothings” from me he would eventually figure it out on his own. I could tell how much it wore him down and how frustrated he would get that I could not communicate to him my feelings. I vowed to work on it and tell him when something is the matter. Am I a professional at it now? Not in the slightest but I like to think any progress is great. I am more willing to tell Jack when I am mad about something or if something he did or said may have hurt my feelings. I still have the natural instinct to keep everything to myself and let it manifest but I resist that urge (most of the time) and talk to him.

If you do not communicate your feelings to your partner how will they ever know that something they said hurt your feelings? Or, how can they help you through your sadness? If you keep all of your feelings inside nothing will come from it. You will be stuck in the same place, and the same things that made you upset, hurt, or mad, will continue to do so. Your partner is there for you. You may not think they want to hear you spill your emotions, but I have learned through Jack how much they do. Allow for them to right their wrong, fix your troubles, or just be there for you. Communication can help strengthen and deepen your relationship in so many ways.

Even if you have not been the best communicator in your relationship thus far, try to change that now. But most importantly, be grateful if you have an amazing significant other, like Jack, who is willing to stick by your side and help encourage you to talk.

In honor of #ThrowbackThursday here is a picture of Jack and I in New Hampshire from a trip with Jack’s family in July of 2014. I can’t believe this will be two years ago this Summer.

throwback pic 2
July 2014, Portsmouth, NH



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