Since we shared our story yesterday, Jack and I wanted to share the pros and cons of a long distance relationship. If you are deciding on whether or not a long distance relationship is for you and your partner consider these pros and cons. Here are a few that we found that stuck out to us the most.
- You value time together so much more- when you are able to spend every day together you tend to lose appreciation for the time you spend together. When you are in a long distance relationship you appreciate every second you get to spend with your partner, no matter how short. I appreciate our long weekend trips just as much, if not more, than our two week trips.
- “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”- It’s the typical saying you hear so many people say but it becomes a reality when you are so far apart. You truly fall in a love more with someone when they are far away from you because you yearn for them and realize how much they mean to you and how much you love them.
- You become more independent- when you are around anyone, your boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friends, etc you can become dependent on them and mold yourself to them. In a long distance relationship, because so much time is spent alone you are able to build a relationship with yourself and become a more independent person.
- You learn to communicate better in many ways, but especially your feelings- Because your partner is not right by your side they cannot physically tell if something is the matter, or you are sad or angry. Even through texts it is easy for your feelings to be not communicated. Because of this you have to be able to fully communicate how you feel to your partner. Ask Jack, this has been one of my toughest things but slowly he has been able to chip away at me. Its importance has become apparent to me in our relationship.
- You learn more about yourself- This goes hand in hand with becoming independent. One of my favorite quotes has become, “But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself”. With so much time to yourself you are able to learn more about yourself. I have found new hobbies, things that make me extremely happy, what I want in life and so much more because of the time I have to ‘get to know’ myself better.
- You do not get to see each other often- This may contradict “distance makes the heart grow fonder” but I would be lying if not seeing each other was not a con, it is probably the biggest one. Distance does make the heart grow fonder but it comes with trials as well. There are days when all you want is a hug from your partner or just want to see their smile and you know you still have time apart before you are reunited.
- Lack of intimacy- There is lack of intimacy due to the distance between the two of you. Intimacy can mean a range of thing, from snuggles and kisses to going all the way dependent on your own relationship. Lack of snuggles is the toughest for me!
- Cost- Whether you are five hours away or five states away you will have to pay for transportation when seeing each other, whether that be for gas, bus tickets or airplane tickets. It all adds up and quick, especially when you want to be able to constantly see each other.
(Hint: Tomorrows post has to deal with this)
- Communication can be fuzzy/lost- With texting 24/7 instead of talking face to face your communication can be fuzzy at points. Over text sarcasm does not always translate well, jokes are missed and texts can be completely misread. Your partner can be reading your texting in a completely different tone than you intended and your whole message can be misinterpreted, and possibly for the worse. It can be frustrating at times but you have to work through it. This helps with the pro of learning to communicate better. Here is a hilarious video showing how your text can be misinterpreted by someone else, it is one of my favorite videos.
- You are not able to get the comfort you seek from your partner- Without the in person and personal comfort of your partner the stress of life is a lot easier to creep in. It can be harder to be comforted over the phone or on Facetime. This does not mean it doesn’t work but sometimes you need more, you need the physical person there and you can’t always have that. This can push you into a darker time.
There are so many more pros and cons in regards to a long distance relationship. Jack and I had a surprisingly difficult time deciding on ones because of the difficulty of putting our thoughts into words. Can you think of any personal pros or cons of your own long distance relationship? Comment below we would love to hear them.